in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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