whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize