I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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