I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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