i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
