you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
