i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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