Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
