if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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