There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize