I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
