worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
