we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
