You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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