I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
