I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
