yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
