you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
