he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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