I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
