I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
