ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My ass is underappreciated
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
