mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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