their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
