they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
