Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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