I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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