Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
