Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
