Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i wish my penis had a tongue
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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