so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
