when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
