So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I can't turn off my feet"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize