"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
