If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
