so that wasnt chicken after all
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
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