I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
