i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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