No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
