I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
