is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
