dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
