Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
