the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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