I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
