booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize