Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize