My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
