All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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