And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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