May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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