Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
God I need to hump something, right now.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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