I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
