Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
