Me. At least after what I've been through.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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