you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
