Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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