i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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