He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
