you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
