Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
