Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
